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[perzo]

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RHAENYRA

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𝖆𝖚 text @il sangre

[interpersonally]

What wine do you think pairs well with a sister you never knew you had.

Different pairing from the bitter soon-to-be ex-wife, the scandalized son, or the breakable brother?

[vermax]

Safety is not what I worry about.

[perzo]

Ouch.

Kind of feels like you need something stronger than wine.

[interpersonally]

The DNA test hasn't come back, but fingers crossed it isn't a girl.

Let's just say I needed a summer in Saltburnt. And yes, something stronger. Malört? Maybe I can burn away my taste buds and my memories of what very little I saw of my only son's sex tape.

I assume you saw. Not saw. God I hope not saw.

[perzo]

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure Rhys [ her father, obvs. ] has at least one or two bastards out there he's never publicly acknowledged.

Didn't watch. It's not really my thing.

[ sex tapes in general, but also anything having to do with her oldest friend's kid. ]

[interpersonally]

Maybe when he dies they'll be invited to the will reading for a laugh.

Nor mine. I prefer my relations physical and not caught on film. I don't even know what he was thinking.

[perzo]

From your lips to his lawyer's ears.

[ and she'd be happy to sit back and let the drama unfold. ]

It's all this newer generation. They don't even want to take a shit without posting about it somewhere.

text | un: stefan

[interpersonally]

I made it on through to the other side. I still have vivid memories of our time at boarding school.

This happened to me once before, I shared a possible future with a friend of mine. It felt completely real, we experienced it at the same time but, it didn't feel like we had lived our life up to then. It was just a glimpse.

This is different.

I wanted to check in, because, as grounded as I feel, I'd be lying if I didn't say it was still disorienting.

— voice | un: jacaerys

[vermax]

( At the start of the month, when he realizes his step-father isn’t answering any calls or messages. ) Is Daemon with you, mother? I cannot reach him since our memories have returned.

( and he’s missed them, in truth. he’s missed her — the constant of the whole of his life. )

[perzo]

I do have memories that war against ones that are much less strange in my recollection.

But I fear that what you may remember of me is not truthful, and could not be further from those false memories.

[ in other words, rhaenyra is far from the woman the house had led her to believe she was. she won't say as much, but she dreads being a disappointment now that the scales have fallen away. ]

[perzo]

[ there is a slight pause, from her, but eventually: ] He is gone. I found no trace of him when I awoke.

I believe he must have returned to Westeros, to join Baela in wait for us. [ she must hold onto that source of comfort for herself, misguided though it may be. the alternative would leave her abed for days. ]

[interpersonally]

In everything there is truth, perhaps not the truth you're used to.

I'm not him, either. But, I do have a brother. And a mutual ex. A father I'd rather forget. Is there anything that threads back to who you are now?

[perzo]

Very little.

[ she relents, slightly. it may be the feeling that she owes stefan at least some whisper of truth. ]

I suppose I've always had a fondness for riding horses, even if it pales in comparison to dragons.

[interpersonally]

Yes, I think, dragons might beat anything. But, they are as dangerous as they're depicted?

( Not that a swift kick from a horse couldn't land someone in the hospital. )

If you want to share anything with me, about anything, I'll do the same. I owe you.

[perzo]

They have the reputation they do for a reason.

There is much that still leaves me disquieted. These memories that were given are strange to dwell on now, but at the time, I was so convinced that a life I couldn't possibly have lived was mine.

[interpersonally]

They're fictional where I come from, so forgive me for not being as well-versed as it sounds like I should be.

Does it help knowing you weren't alone in that?

[perzo]

It is for the best they had not accompanied us. These grounds are not nearly big enough to keep them satisfied.

Somewhat, yet what troubles me most isn't that it was a lie being lived. It was how close it verged to truth, at times.

[interpersonally]

Is it the lack of space or diet that might not satisfy them?

Metaphorically?

[perzo]

Both. I'm not sure the Balfours would be able to provide enough game to keep them satiated.

Beyond that. Some emotions were quite persistent.

[interpersonally]

If it's the Balfours providing anything at all.

I agree. Amplified, but, still very present. There were consistencies, to be sure.

[vermax]

( there’s something about it that angers him, that Daemon left again. yet he knows his stepfather. he would not have done so willingly, not again. ) Is there— Is there anything you need?

[perzo]

I feel as though I should be asking you that.

[ and to a point, she has failed in that. but his asking after her is also a reminder that he is far from a boy anymore, even if he is still her son. ]

I would see you, to know that you are well and that the deceit of the last few weeks have not weighed too heavily on you.

[perzo]

You make a fair point.

You felt it as well? Even if some attachments were untrue? [ there is one name she dare not speak aloud, not wanting to burden stefan with the knowledge, but she does keep turning over the question of why she and alicent had still shared intimacies, despite having different pasts. ]

[interpersonally]

I felt everything. I felt the deep resentment I've always held for my father. I rarely ever talk about him, he's best never mentioned, and yet, he's a ghost that feels closer in the rearview mirror than he once was.

And other names - "characters," all felt familiar in what they were to me. Almost.